At SUWS of the Carolinas, Two-Day Workshops Empower Parents to Support Students, Heal Families
PDFBy Hugh C. McBride
When an adolescent or teenager enrolls in a therapeutic wilderness program for help with an addiction, behavior disorder, or other such challenge, the effort affects the entire family – and lasting success is often a matter of the level and quality of support that parents and siblings are able to provide.
To help families make the necessary changes that will complement and enhance the lessons that their children learn in the wilderness, SUWS of the Carolinas has been inviting the parents of all students to participate in two-day workshops that are conducted at a lodge on the program’s North Carolina campus.
Built around three core principles – experience, education, and support – the two-day workshops give parents a glimpse into the challenges and opportunities that their children are encountering in the wilderness, and help them to develop the skills and strategies that will enable them to support their children’s continued progress when they return home.
“I notice a marked change in the parents after they’ve attend a workshop,” said SUWS Clinical Director Jesse Quam. “They’re more attentive to the ways they can work together to support their child, and they’ve got a greater understanding that the entire family needs to make some changes.”
Establishing a Foundation of Support
Conducted at least twice each month – and designed for parents whose children are about halfway through their SUWS enrollment – the two-day parent workshops are led by SUWS Family Program Director Brooke Judkins.
Judkins, who is also in charge of the one-day Trail’s End reunion experience that marks a student’s graduation from SUWS, said that the midpoint workshops give parents extra opportunities to practice new skills while their children are still in the wilderness, and SUWS therapists are still working closely with the families.
“It’s crucial that parents have the time to practice the skills that they learn while they’re still getting the weekly phone calls from the therapists,” Ms. Judkins said. “If parents get that practice and receive the guidance they need from the therapists, they’re more likely to continue using these skills, which will benefit the entire family when the child returns home from the wilderness.”
Creating Better Communicators
The SUWS two-day parent workshops pack a considerable amount of information into a relatively short period of time, but almost every activity is designed to support one overriding objective: helping family members communicate more effectively and more successfully.
“We work on good, basic communication skills that parents can start working on right away in the letters they write to their kids in the wilderness,” Ms. Judkins said. “We want to get the parents on the same page with their children to make sure that they’re all making similar changes in how they interact with each other, and developing a common language that they can use when they communicate with each other.”
This effort, Mr. Quam notes, pays immediate and lasting benefits, which become evident even before the children complete their time in the wilderness.
“After a couple of days in the workshops, the lights switch on,” Mr. Quam said. “The parents have better questions, they listen more closely to what our staff members tell them, and they get more involved in their kids’ progress. The workshops help parents get a little further along in terms of being better prepared to support their children and help their families.”
Helping Parents Succeed
In addition to learning and practicing communication skills such as active listening and the use of “I feel” statements, workshop participants also have the opportunity to analyze and evaluate the techniques that they employ as parents.
“We complete a genogram, which is like a family tree with more detailed information that gives the parents the chance to take an in-depth look at family dynamics and & inter-generational patterns,” Ms. Judkins said. “We do parenting styles assessment, and reflect upon how and why they came to be the parents that they are.”
Though some parents might initially be less than enthusiastic about this emphasis on introspection, Ms. Judkins emphasized that the entire process is a positive experience that is conducted with an emphasis upon support and respect.
“The parents who participate in our workshops are doing a great thing for themselves, their children, and their families, and we’re here to ensure that they have all the support that we can provide,” Ms. Judkins said. “One of the first things we do in the workshops is establish a full value contract that establishes whatever they need to make this is a safe environment.”
Ending the Isolation
Parents who complete the two-day workshops will learn a great deal about effective parenting, and will practice a number of specific skills that will help them support their children and reunite their families. But for many participants, the most empowering aspect of the experience isn’t what they learn, but who they learn with.
“Many parents feel isolated because of the struggles they’ve been having. They may not know anyone who has had the problems they’ve had, or who has sent a child to a wilderness program,” Ms. Judkins said. “And then they come to our workshops and make meaningful connections with people who are going through the same thing that they are. Suddenly, they’re not alone anymore. They have people they can turn to for support, to share resources, or just to talk about things that are important to them.”
Mr. Quam agreed, noting that the relationships that develop among workshop participants are among the most beneficial and long-lasting aspects of the experience.
“The power of the workshops is the community that gets created,” he said. “Our parents are more connected now, and are part of a community that extends beyond the time that their kids are with us. I know that a lot of the parents stay in touch, and continue supporting and learning from each other.”